Saturday, June 15, 2019

Dehydrated Wallet

There are some dirty, greedy people out there and unfortunately, I know some. Richard Patrick (1968-)


People can't live without certain requirements. Food, water, and shelter that come to mind. The homeless attempt to survive but sooner or later they need those essentials. However, we can't forget about one other very important item that controls a lot of peoples' lives. It's a crazy little thing called money. Everyone loves money, I know I certainly do. It's impossible to exist without moolah. All of us come from the same mold when it comes to cash. We spend our money on necessities and once in a while we may treat ourselves to the "finer things in life".

Every so often we are committed to paying what I call authorized thievery. Unlike government extortion (we have no choice than to cough up our hard-earned wages) authorized thievery is a system that dictates in a simple format. Most of the time it's a straight forward and uncomplicated business transaction, easy as ABC. Humans will be given an option, pay or don't pay and I'm not talking about buying a TV or computer.

Back in March of 2015 my car's muffler system became defective (or so I was told) so I took my vehicle to Speedy Auto Service, previously known as Speedy Muffler King. To make a long story short I spent $1,045.00 when the "work" was completed. Then in January 2019, my exhaust system became noisy once again. So I went back to Speedy. This time $280.00 instantly disintegrated out of my wallet. Of course, very conveniently, there wasn't any warranty on the faulty part. In March 2019 I heard a noise again, yes again, from my muffler system so once again I paid Speedy another visit. I figured the system has to be under some sort of guarantee. As usual, the Speedy employee drove my car into the shop and raised it on the hoist. The technician speedily (no pun intended) showed me the problem.

Moments later I received a quote of $650 from the manager. Needless to say, I was ready to lose it...I was fucking livid and my blood was sizzling. But I didn't show my anger and frustration. I mentioned to the employee I'd already spent $1300 and asked him if anything was under warranty. He told me the part that needed to be replaced was, but only for two years. It had been four years since the original work was done. Immediately I thought how well-timed this was for this business. With an evil and unhappy look on my face, I asked him, "If I get this fixed now and if it requires restoring in another three or four years I'll be paying you another $650?" He nodded his head and replied "Yes." As I stormed out of the office I looked at him and said, "You just don't want to give anyone a break." As I drove away I said out loud, "What a bunch of money grabbing fuckers."

I seriously thought of standing in front of their shop holding a large sign which would've read SPEEDY IS A RIP-OFF but I decided against it. Remember Speedy's old phrase, AT SPEEDY YOU'RE A SOMEBODY. Obviously, that motto has been sunk to the bottom of the ocean. A more appropriate slogan, At Speedy, Your Money Is A Somebody.

I decided to take my car to my honest and trusted mechanics I have been dealing with for twenty-five years. I have sound assurance about them. I have so much confidence in their knowledge I purchase my automobiles from their shop. I showed one of the owners my $1,000.00 Speedy bill from 2015 and he shook his head. He told me they performed a lot of unnecessary work. Once again I thought Speedy was nothing more than a bunch of scuzzbags putting it to the "average Joe". Anyway, my mechanic fixed my exhaust problem. His price was a far cry from Speedy's (Rip Off Car Clinic) $650.00...he charged me $80.00.

I absolutely have no liking for Bell. I also label them as an authorized thievery establishment. My decision to deal with them is because Canadians are extremely limited to our phone, computer and television networks. Speaking of phones and internet service, I pay a suffocating price of $145.00 a month for my telephone and internet. And by the way, I don't have call display. Bell is just another outfit that loves to scam the consumer. I have always taken exception to them but what really opened up my eyes about these bandits happened a few years ago. I was without my land line for five days. This pathetic so-called enterprise had me talking to their annoying call centers in San Salvador and El Salvador. I was really surprised I wasn't chit-chatting to someone on Jupiter or Neptune. I wrote the C.R.T.C. (Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission) and a letter via my M.P. (Member of Parliament) explaining the stress and irritation the bush league moronic dipsticks had put me through. I also asked for some sort of compensation for my time without a phone. The cynical cheats had the audacity to offer me seven dollars for my inconvenience.

One more quick story about the Bell racket that I experienced just recently. I had to phone my sister-in-law (who lives in Whitby, Ontario) on three separate occasions. When I received my bill these people charged me fifty-two dollars for long distance charges. Each call was about fifteen minutes. Bell certainly doesn't believe in little perks for their long "devoted" customers. Maybe one day we'll see a lot more competition in this field. But if you ask me I doubt it, remember this is Canada.

Over the years most of us were quite aware of doctors charging their patients for return to work notes. To my surprise, the physicians have produced many money grabbing schemes. One I discovered not too long ago was my G.P. is now charging fifteen dollars for a prescription for orthotics. The procedure used to be I would phone my doctor and he would fax Bio-Ped with the scrip. Nice and simple. But oh, how those days are quickly changing. Now I have to drive out to Ancaster, pay fifteen dollars and pick up my scrip. For me, it's a seventeen-kilometer round trip. People might say that's not bad. Well, it is considering I never had to do that before. My Doc's secretary tried to "ease" the irritation by saying other doctors are demanding twenty-five dollars. Oh, golly gee! I'm getting a real good deal. I should stand on my head and spit nickels. So what's next with our doctors. Will they start charging a fee to renew blood pressure pills? Stay tuned, things are happening too fast.


It's very hard to hold on to our money because everyone wants it. If the government isn't performing their extortion game (the ridiculous carbon tax and the possible idiotic soda pop tax) numerous businesses and services will seriously want to fill their pockets with your cash. A lot of us are ignorant on certain issues, like me for example about automobiles and some of these despicable crooks know that. Sometimes our free enterprise system has some selfish and greedy individuals attached to the structure. I'm all for capitalism but sometimes it must be modulated.

The End

The Harvenut Puritan Project
Puritan will return with "The Bungling Bunch Rides Again"

Editor's note: an alternate view. Money is the root of all good.

The Handyman's Tale

Leukophobia - Find a Cure.

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