MyAssBook

Hamilton's New Taxi Apps - Laughing my Ass Off. Strange things have always gone on in the Hamilton taxi business. Believe me, I know. I have been in the biz for a long time. Yesterday, I had to leave my personal car in the shop, so I figured that after I parked my cab in the parking lot at Highway 8 and Dewitt, I would try out Cab Company A's new app to see how great it is for ordering a taxi. It was about 1:05 A.M. The first problem with the Cab Company A app is that it is slow to load. Once it loaded, it showed a blue bar with white letters saying, "searching for the nearest cab." It just kept on searching and searching. I was getting impatient. While waiting for the app to locate a cab, I noticed that the address in the location box was incorrect. It had me at 170 Dewitt Rd. That would be the townhouses across the street. I would have liked to input the correct address, but I was in the mini-mall where the Tim Horton's and Mac's Milk are located.…

The Story of my Distraction Earlier this evening, I was rummaging around the cabinet looking for something. I pulled out a small e-cig box and thought, "I wonder what I stashed in here?" So I opened it. This is what I found: a key-chain with the Lincoln automobile logo on it. a gold-coloured ring (Shit. I put it on one of my fingers and now I can't get it off.) a silver-looking bracelet part of a necklace consisting of a string of Shamrocks(?) a cold-coloured ankle bracelet another ankle bracelet made of tiny links a ring with a clear stone in it a keyring with a nylon fob This thing a hash pipe lid (the kind you screw on. Not the other kind.) another hash pipe lid a dead rat and a string to swing it with (just kidding)This thing another ring with a red stone in it. my old man's dog tag Hmm. The dog tag. Maybe I can use it to find out more about what part of the Wermacht my old man served in. So I did a search on Fl. Ers. Batl. III. The best I could come up…

Uber in Hamilton Update: Maria Pearson, Don't Delete This One.Molly A cabbie friend of mine told me that she had recently received a follow-up call from her council rep, Maria Pearson - Ward 10, over a recent licensing issue. After some small talk, the councilor asked my friend, I'll call her Molly, how things were going in the Hamilton taxi business now that Uber had been formally exempted from Hamilton's "old category" of taxi licensing bylaws. Molly told her that things were really bad. Then Molly suggested that if Maria wanted more information on the Uber impact, that she should talk to "Hans." Maria replied, "Hans Wienhold?" Molly: "Yes." Maria: "Oh. I just delete his emails." When I heard this I laughed. First, Maria feigns interest in the plight of Hamilton's cabbies (probably just fishing for a vote, IMHO,) and then, when offered a source of information on the Uber impact, Maria unconsciously intimates th…

Public Mischief Harking back to my early (pre) teen years, we went through a mischief phase. We played "knocking on ginger," including the enhanced burning bag of poop version, or we threw snowballs at cars. We even lit a number of field fires. After the fire department arrived we would even help them put the fire out. We were quite proud to learn by word of mouth that a police officer was quoted as saying that the West Mountain had more mischief complaints than any other area of the city. We called one of our favorite games "punch out." We always used the same location for "punch out." It was at the southwest corner of Bendemere Ave and Columbia drive on the property of the St. Vincent-de-Paul Catholic School. And we always played it after dark. Out of five or six of us we would select our voluntary "victim." Then we would wait for a vehicle to approach along Bendemere from the west. As the vehicle got closer we would would all pretend to…