Saturday, August 26, 2017

I Love You

Prelude

The Oxford Canadian Dictionary defines the word love as an intense feeling of deep affection or fondness for a person or thing. I believe the 1986 song by Anita Baker titled "Sweet Love" is very fitting.

All of us have travelled the road of endearment at least once in our lives and cherished someone. There is no set interval for love...it can occur at any time, day, night, winter or summer. The feeling may strike immediately or the duration may take a period to develop. A lot of individuals experience an ecstatic and blissful state of mind...they are literally on "cloud nine." When a couple are in love it can be the utmost beautiful and magnificent emotion they have ever encountered. When Cupid fires his arrow people can be truly head over heels on each other.

When I retired I had a part time job delivering prescription drugs to customers. Back in the early 1980's I worked with a fellow somewhat older than me who had the same last name that was on the receipt of one of my "scripts". When I delivered the medication a lady came to the door and I asked her if she was any relation to my ex co-worker. She replied, "yes, that was my husband...he died of leukemia a couple of years ago...I miss him so much." My client was a weekly delivery and every time she greeted me at the door, her cute little dog would accompany her. She explained to me her pet couldn't understand where her hubby had disappeared to and every time her door bell rang her dog would think it was her spouse. Anyway, she would always reminisce about her deceased partner and consistently say to me "I miss him so much." The smooth jazz song by Kim Waters titled "Forever Yours" is very fitting for the lady...the power of love still in full bloom never expiring.

Love hides in a lot of familiar surroundings such as high school, post secondary institutions, the work place, bars, extra curricular activities like recreation leagues and hobbies and social functions. A lot of people believe love will keep them hand in hand for an eternity as the 1965 song by Sonny and Cher titled "I Got You Babe" and the 1975 song by The Captain and Tennille titled "Love Will Keep Us Together." It's a delightful belief that love will last forever but from time to time, for some people, sadly, their ship will sink. Whenever the love bug has departed, there is a very strong possibility that the adoration and passion is gone, gone for good, gone forever, never to return as the 1979 song by Earth, Wind and Fire titled "After The Love Is Gone" specifies.

When the expression, "I don't love you anymore" or "I want a divorce" is announced it's like an emotional bomb that explodes and can rip a person's heart into millions of pieces...it can be extremely crushing and devastating and very difficult to accept.

Remember our parents era, a high majority of their generation stayed together for decades unless there was a death in the relationship. My parents (R.I.P. and God rest your souls) were married for thirty-five years until my father's death. My E.A.'s (Executive Assistant) parents have been in holy matrimony for sixty-seven years. Our neighbours (across the street) were in their union for sixty-eight years until the wife's passing. A few of my friends are working on their late twenty or thirty year membership, but I must mention, only a few.

The term divorce is widespread...you could call it a world epidemic. The following is from "The Richest", May 1/14 with the top ten countries with the highest divorce rate: United States-53%, France-55%, Cuba-56%, Estonia-58%, Luxembourg-60%, Spain-61%, Czech Republic-66%, Hungary-67%, Portugal-68% and Belgium-71%...Canada is somewhere between 40 and 50%.

My E.A. is divorced. She has five siblings. Out of the six children five are divorced. A plentiful number of my friends, co-workers and acquaintances have been subject to the dissolution. I had a marital breakdown and wouldn't wish it on anyone. It can be heart rendering and possess overwhelming sorrow and misery...it could be called a living death.

Back in 1989 a co-worker invited myself and other staff members to his wedding. The reception was fun and enjoyable. Then, four days later (yes four days later) we found out he was filing for divorce...the honeymoon wasn't even finished. Needless to say all of us were shocked...it had to be one of the shortest marriages in history.

Hollywood is certainly no stranger to divorce over the past century. A lot of big name actors of the 1930's, 1940's and 1950's were involved in estrangement, some of them multiple times. The environment they exist in, is, shall I say a completely and different universe...we haven't the slightest indication how that world turns.

Sadly enough divorce can be exceedingly cruel, hurtful and upsetting. Both parties can be spiteful and vindictive...it can very easily turn into a continuous battle. When couples with children split it can generate additional pain with distressing circumstances. A few years ago I recall reading that some so called relationship experts suggested for parents to remain married for the children's benefit and well being. I'm no marriage counsellor but I definitely don't concur on that theory. Children are not stupid. They can very easily pick up on things, particularly if the family routines are different and not functioning smoothly.

Life is extremely precious, our number can be summoned at any time. If the lifestyle isn't cheerful between parents on the home front, surviving can be exceedingly miserable and dismal, plain and simple people want to be happy in their relationships...it's human nature.

We've all heard the phrase high school sweethearts. Young lovers "tie the knot" fresh out of high school and all of a sudden their bubble bursts. The time frame may vary from a few to numerous years. My E.A. and a handful of my friends are in that grouping. The 1977 song by Billy Joel titled "Scenes From An Italian Restaurant" when he sings about "Brenda and Eddie" is a good example.

The phrase "Till Death Do Us Part" maybe will be changed to "Till Separation Do Us Part."

Jack and Jill sitting in a tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G,
First comes love, then comes marriage,
Oh look who's holding the divorce papers.

Every so often Hollywood will produce comedies about divorce...however divorce is absolutely and by any means no laughing matter. It is tragic for the parties involved, the children and relatives. At one time you are planning to live the rest of you life with the one you love with all your heart and then BANG it's splitsville. At times I think divorce might be some type of disease.

Epilogue

I think all of us need love in our lives. People will always surrender to love and they gratify themselves in marriage or live with each other...this is a slice of human composition. Nothing in life is guaranteed...Oops, taxes (especially from Liberals) and death are carved in stone. I think we can include love and divorce as reality.

The End

The Harvenut Puritan Project
Puritan will return with "The Infamous Vanishing Act"

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